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Identify your Core Wound

This assessment will help you name your primary core wound. Read each scenario and select the response that best reflects how you would typically react or feel. Choose the answer that resonates most deeply with you, even if multiple options feel somewhat true. If no response seems to apply, choose one that might have been true in the past.
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Your partner forgets your birthday, %%FIRST%%.
How do you respond?

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Feel humiliated and ashamed that you're forgettable
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Assume they don't really love you
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Wonder what you did wrong or if you're not memorable enough
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Believe this confirms you're not wanted or valued
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Feel like you're not important enough to remember
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Panic that they're losing interest and will leave you
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Feel invisible and overlooked once again
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Feel betrayed and question if you can trust them
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Your Core Wound is Abandonment

Abandonment
This wound reflects deep experiences of inconsistent care, emotional desertion, or being left behind when you needed support. You may notice this wound showing up in your relationships through intense anxiety when someone doesn't respond quickly, testing whether people will stay, or pushing others away before they can leave you. You likely struggle with being alone and may find yourself either clinging desperately to relationships or creating distance to protect yourself from the pain of being left.
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Your Core Wound is Unworthiness

Unworthiness
This wound reflects deep experiences of feeling like you don't matter and have no inherent value. You may notice this wound showing up through excessive self-sacrifice, minimizing your needs, and believing you must earn the right to take up space. You likely apologize constantly, struggle to receive compliments or gifts, settle for less than you deserve, and put everyone else's needs before your own because you don't believe you're worthy of care.
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Your Core Wound is Feeling Unlovable

Feeling Unlovable
This wound reflects deep experiences of emotional unavailability and the painful belief that you are fundamentally incapable of being truly loved. You may notice this wound showing up through hiding your authentic self, sabotaging intimate relationships, or creating a false persona to be acceptable. You likely fear that if people really knew you they would leave, test your partner's love constantly, and struggle to believe that love can be unconditional rather than something you must perform for.
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Your Core Wound is Feeling Inadequate

Feeling Inadequate
This wound reflects deep experiences of criticism, comparison, and feeling like your efforts are never enough. You may notice this wound showing up through perfectionism, harsh self-criticism, and dismissing your accomplishments no matter how significant they are. You likely compare yourself to others constantly, struggle with imposter syndrome, and push yourself relentlessly while still feeling like you fall short.
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Your Core Wound is Invisibility
Invisibility
This wound reflects deep experiences of emotional neglect, being overlooked, and feeling like your presence doesn't register or matter to others. You may notice this wound showing up through feeling unheard even when you speak, exhausting yourself trying to be seen, or giving up entirely and withdrawing. You likely assume people won't listen to you, struggle to advocate for your needs, feel powerless in expressing yourself, and carry a deep resignation that you simply don't matter to those around you.
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Your Core Wound is Rejection
Rejection
This wound reflects deep experiences of being unwanted, excluded, or told that who you are isn't acceptable. You may notice this wound showing up through chronic people-pleasing, difficulty saying no, or withdrawing from connection entirely to avoid being rejected again. You likely read rejection into neutral situations, struggle to show your authentic self, and may overachieve or perfect yourself in an attempt to finally be chosen and accepted.
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Your Core Wound is Shame
Shame
This wound reflects deep experiences of humiliation, harsh criticism, or being made to feel fundamentally flawed or wrong at your core. You may notice this wound showing up through keeping parts of yourself hidden, a relentless inner critic, and believing something is inherently defective about you. You likely carry secrets you're terrified of others discovering, engage in behaviours to numb the shame, and struggle to accept yourself because you believe you are "too much" or simply "not right."
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Your Core Wound is Feeling Unsafe
Feeling Unsafe
This wound reflects deep experiences of betrayal, boundary violations, chaos, or environments where you couldn't trust or protect yourself. You may notice this wound showing up through hypervigilance, chronic anxiety, and an overwhelming need to control situations and people. You likely scan for threats constantly, struggle to trust others even when they're trustworthy, avoid risks or new experiences, and feel unable to relax because you believe danger is always lurking.
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